✨ You are 'The All Good Girl! ✨

 

You’re the person that everyone wants to have around them when conflict happens, because you know exactly what to do to keep the peace and are easy to get along with (probably because you rarely express your own needs!).

 

You might say that everything is fine with you, or 'it's all good'

Because you just really want everyone to get along

You’ll often find yourself literally smoothing over any disagreements that may arise at work, in relationships or between your friends or within your family.

 

You feel safest and most secure when everyone is happy in your relationships and in your environment. 

 

In order to fit in more, you may be used to playing small and dimming your light. As a result, you could feel a little unfulfilled with life. You might also have lost sight of the things that truly make you feel happy, the things that most light you up. 

 

You have a tendency to stay stuck in certain situations that feel uncomfortable, because you don’t want to rock the boat or upset anyone.

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✨UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF✨

It’s helpful to take a closer look at your motivations, and why you behave the way you do.


Your people-pleasing ways are likely rooted in a deeper need to feel safe. This may come from having had difficult experiences in your past, when you’ve not felt entirely safe or secure.


These prior experiences have left you with a dislike, or even a fear of conflict. What feels safest for you is to say nothing and go with the flow in a bid to keep everyone else happy. Chances are that you feel afraid or hesitant to speak up and voice your true opinions, especially where they are in conflict with someone else’s.

 

You’d never want to feel that you’d upset or offended someone.


Somewhere along the line, someone told you that you were too much or too loud; and as a
result, you feel that is simply not safe to be YOU.


You might often find yourself worrying over your actions or words. This need for acceptance, security and safety comes from a deeper place of fear. It’s a fear of not being liked, loved and accepted.

 

It comes from a desire to belong.
 

But the great news is, now that you know this, you can begin to take action to feel safe and supported in a way that does not deplete you or require you to dim your light any more.

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 ✨JOURNALING REFLECTION EXERCISE:✨

 

I invite you to take pen to paper, and free write for at least five minutes, around the following reflection questions. Allow the words to flow, let your inner wisdom speak to you: 

1. Has anyone ever told you that you were too much or that it wasn’t safe to really be you? Who was it? When was it?


Now take a moment and consider, is this really true? Write what comes up for you here.

 


2. What stories have you been telling yourself when it comes to how you respond to others? Does it not feel safe? Do you not feel safe to be you?


Now take a moment and consider, is this really true? Write what comes up for you here.


3. Think about letting someone else down or disagreeing with someone close to you. What are you afraid may happen? What’s the worst case scenario?


Take a moment and consider, is this really true? Write what comes up for you here.

✨NEXT STEPS✨

There might have been a lot for you to take in here, so before you do anything further, take a really deep inhale, put your hand on your heart and say out loud (or silently, in your head) to yourself ‘I am safe’. And do it again, one more time

 

‘I AM SAFE’.


I also recommend getting outside and being in nature. I find this to be especially grounding; walking in the nearby parks helps me to feel safe and connected). Explore what else makes you feel safe in your life.


Remember, this is just the beginning of your personal journey towards a better understanding of yourself and your people-pleasing patterns. It takes practice and it takes work, but it is possible to work through this and find a way of being in the world that serves you so much more.

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KEEP STRENGTHENING

I’d recommend strengthening your boundaries with my meditation below to keep building your confidence and sense of self

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 Remember that this is a journey into better understanding your old patterns.
It takes practice and continued work

Feel free to get in touch with me if you'd like any further support on this journey!

 
 






 

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Hi! I'm Sabrina! 
Regression therapist &
Trauma Informed Relationship Coach​

I help women who have a history of toxic relationships reclaim their power, end people pleasing patterns, and master their boundaries so that they can start creating healthy love!

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