✨ You are 'The O.G. People Pleaser!' ✨
As an 'OG', you are one of the original people-pleasers!
You are known for being that person who is so incredibly nice, and is constantly tripping over themselves to keep everyone else happy.
You tirelessly put yourself before for others. You’re organized to a fault, keeping track of every little detail just so that you don’t forget or let anyone down.
Do any of the following sound familiar? You’re the person who spends hours inputting everyone’s birthdays into your phone so that you can send them a birthday card. You are the person
most likely to jump at a last-minute request to help someone –and you find it incredibly difficult to say ‘no’!
You might spend a while, hours even, going over a conversation you’ve had with
someone and worrying about having said the ‘wrong thing’.
Your main purpose in life is to ensure that everyone else is happy.
In fact, you convince yourself that when everyone else is happy, that then, and only then, will you be happy, and yet, it rarely turns out that way.
Now, whilst some of the traits associated with the 'OG' might need to be addressed and tweaked, it’s really important to note that caring about others is no bad thing! It can be a wonderful way to live your life and some of these traits are so incredibly endearing and make you, you!
Just start to observe where you are putting others happiness ahead of yours.
Now that you know your people-pleasing type, it’s helpful to take a closer look at the motivations behind the 'OG', and just why you behave the way you do.
Your people-pleasing ways are rooted in a real need to be loved and cherished by others.
You may struggle to feel confident in your own worth or find it difficult to really believe in yourself sufficiently. This leads to ‘over-compensating’, trying to be all things to everyone and making sure that everyone else is happy. It’s your way of keeping them connected to you and validating your self-worth.
Keeping on top of every little detail and over-thinking and analyzing can honestly be exhausting.
If you’re feeling burnt-out, anxious or depleted, this might be a sign that you’re giving too much from your own reserves. We have already referred to how it’s no bad thing to want to do nice things for those you love, but the clues are in the deeper motivations behind your behaviour.
Ask yourself honestly how you feel as you do these things. Is your behaviour coming from a place of love or from a place of fear?
Because you so often put everyone else first, the danger is that you end up losing yourself.
When was the last time you asked yourself what you love doing & who you love doing it with?
While receiving external praise and validation from others will always make you feel good, if you’re living your life for the benefit of others, you may end up feeling dissatisfied, maybe a little lost even, simply because you’re not really having your own deeper needs met and doing what you love.
But the great news is now that you know this, you can start to take action to increase your confidence in a way that does not rely on the validation of others. Read on for my top tips to help you.
✨JOURNALING REFLECTION EXERCISE:✨
I invite you to take pen to paper, and free write for at least five minutes, around the following reflection questions. Allow the words to flow, let your inner wisdom speak to you:
How am I feeling right now?
If I had no fear, no worries and was free to do what I want...what would I do?
How do I really want to show up in the world?
What do I love to do?
Who do I love spending time with?
Where am I giving my power away?
Whose company leaves me feeling depleted and flat?
What matters most to me right now?
There might have been a lot for you to take in here, so before you do anything further, take a really deep inhale, put your hand on your heart and say out loud (or silently, in your head) to yourself
‘I AM ENOUGH, JUST AS I AM’.
I also really recommend working with affirmations around feeling confident and enough, exactly as you are. This can be as simple as writing out 3 – 5 positive statements about yourself, in the present tense, that you then repeat to yourself, silently or out loud, every morning.
"I’m creating a life where I am showing up for myself."
“I am confidently expressing myself openly and honestly.”
“I communicate my needs and desires and I know that I deserve to have them met.”
“The more I do what feels right for me, the more I own my true self. I love myself.”
“I don’t dim my light for anyone or anything. I shine bright.”
“I love creating this new life that fills me with such purpose and deep satisfaction."
I listen only to what I want, what feels right and I follow that."
This may have brought up some old feelings or memories, so take a really deep inhale, put your hand on your heart and say out loud (or silently, in your head) to yourself :
IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO CONTINUE BEING FULLY & AUTHENTICALLY MYSELF
Knowing your boundaries helps with living authentically. I’d recommend strengthening your boundaries with my meditation below to keep building your confidence and sense of safety:
Hi! I'm Sabrina!
Regression therapist &
Trauma Informed Relationship Coach
I help women who have a history of toxic relationships reclaim their power, end people pleasing patterns, and master their boundaries so that they can start creating healthy love
Seen. Safe. Empowered. Held. Witnessed. Challenged. Honored. Trusted and Trusting.